What is Sensory Processing Disorder or Difference?

Sensory Processing Disorders & Differences

Every moment of the day we take in information from our senses.  Some people, including those who experience neurodiversity, may be oversensitive or undersensitive to the information.  People who are oversensitive may get overwhelmed by smells, sounds, touch, visual stimuli, or tastes.  This often results in discomfort ranging from mild to severe.  People who are undersensitive may look for ways to get more of an experience, like eating spicy foods, playing loud music, or enjoying heavy blankets.  This usually results in comfort.

Some examples of using items to meet sensory needs include:

-  Crunchy snacks can be alerting – helping people to focus and engage

-  Chewy snacks can be calming – helping people when they are feeling overwhelmed

-  Fidget toys can be calming or alerting – helping people adapt to different situations

How can you help?

When someone advocates – do your best to accommodate them by being flexible:

-  Some people may ask you to dim the florescent lights

-  Some people may feel comfortable sitting on the floor

-  Some people may have items with them that help them in your shared environment

Watch and listen:

-  If someone seems uncomfortable – ask “Is there anything that you need right now?”

-  If someone seems to be avoiding something – do your best remove it

-  If someone is finding comfort in something – do your best to support it  

How you can help yourself? 

- Ask for what you need to be comfortable in your environment

- Bring items with you that help you meet your sensory needs such as gum, fidgets, etc.

- Excuse yourself and take a break if the environment feels overwhelming

When Someone Expects You to Pay

Sometimes when we go out with friends, we could be expected to pay the bill.  Some thoughts immediately run through our head

-  Do they only like me because they think I will pay?

-  Do I say something?  

-  Will they hang out with me again if I don't pay?

Regardless, a real friendship should not result in anything one sided.  A real friendship should have equity.  If you feel like there is in inequity, it may be time to evaluate the friendship.

If you are constantly in situations where you are paying, here are some strategies:

A White (or not so white) Lie

- Say "that is not in my budget right now" or "I am a little low on funds" which will hopefully result in your friend saying "I can pay for my own" or "let's find something that does not cost too much money"

Positioning

-  Make sure the friend that expects you to pay is in front of you in line (and hang back a little) so they have to pay for themselves - this could be at a movie theater or anything with a fee for entry

- Go to places for food that you have to order and pay at the counter so there is no single bill at the end.  Avoid drive-throughs

Words

-  Before you order, ask for separate checks or say "yes" when asked if separate checks are needed.  It is unlikely the person with you will argue

-  If it is a situation where there is one check and it ends up in front of you, say to your friend "can I Venmo you for your half of the check?"  Be sure you have the Venmo app on your phone to support this request

    -  If they say "no" then say "OK, you can get the bill next time?"

        -  When the bill comes next time, remind them that it is their turn to pay

-  Have a conversation about who pays for what.  "Hey, if I buy an appetizer to split, do you want to pay for a dessert to split?"  "Hey, let's do separate checks because I am really bad at math."  

If you friend likes you for you, then paying should not be a hardship between you.  If it is, either you need to re-evaluate the friendship or do activities that do not cost money.